Thursday, May 24, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Human nature is interesting. One would think that, when trying to assert identity, a person would go on the defensive, attempting to protect themselves in whichever way they could. One would think that one would try their best to avoid outside stimuli, for fear of their makeshift walls suddenly not being able to hold back the flood of disillusionment. Denial. Confusion. Pride. And eventual downfall; It’s happened so many times that it’s a wonder that there are still some on the opposing side of this little game.
How many losses does it take for a group to figure out they’re not going to win…?
I suppose that’s why Mr. Chamber’s –my apologies, Caden’s- little “challenge” proved so fascinating. And though I suppose I can understand why he’d do such a thing –losing your place in the so called “pecking order” must be truly traumatic indeed, I simply went to inform Caden that such behaviours would not be tolerated.
After all, there is no pecking order for our mutual friend anymore.
Not when you serve him.
Not when you belong to me.
What Caden never realized was that it was physically impossible for him to not play my game. I can’t possibly fault him for trying; the field was his, albeit only because I was kind enough to give him that option. The location he offered, the seemingly abandoned garage of a deserted country home, was a good choice. Fairly well lit, but with plenty of makeshift weapons, vantage points and shadows. Not a bad spot for an ambush, and I was sure to make a note of that.
The only access point was through a wrecked car, which was a nice touch. Enclosed spaces are always dangerous to be confined in, and Caden seemed to be making the best of the situation, because the second I was inside, various heavy objects instantly blocked my access and exit points.
The man I made eye contact with as he doused the hood of the vehicle with gasoline was a broken one; somehow both manic and calm at the same time, filled with both murderous intent and fear, longing for my place and loathing for what one must be to get there… And so when the blowtorch in his hands was ignited moments later, I only continued to observe him.
The gasoline started to ignite. For a split second, there was only us two and the flames as company.
I must admit, from there I was slightly disappointed. There was nothing else. No second phase, no backup plan, no incredible turn of events that would leave me in awe of his abilities. There was only silence on my part and a thin shred of hope on his.
Hope that I needed to crush
Wishful thinking. That is what I assume Caden was cursing as I struck him from behind, the only thing left in my wake being a fluttering black leaf.
As I gazed down on him, bandages ripped away from his own fingers, I could see what he was so desperate to hide; how burned he was from that boiling water, the heated pot he held as he beat that woman to death…
The gasoline started to trickle in a puddle near him, under him, not yet consumed by the spreading flames,
And I decided to see how much a pawn needed to be burnt until it learned its place.
There are no happy endings. There is no matter of chance or co-incidence. Your rival won’t show up in a pinch, and you won’t gain a skill at the brink of death. No, the strongest will always win, and the weak will always submit. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.
You all have the chance to walk beside me. It’s something I suggest you consider.
After all, you don’t have much of an alternative, now do you?
Regards,
Redlight
How many losses does it take for a group to figure out they’re not going to win…?
I suppose that’s why Mr. Chamber’s –my apologies, Caden’s- little “challenge” proved so fascinating. And though I suppose I can understand why he’d do such a thing –losing your place in the so called “pecking order” must be truly traumatic indeed, I simply went to inform Caden that such behaviours would not be tolerated.
After all, there is no pecking order for our mutual friend anymore.
Not when you serve him.
Not when you belong to me.
What Caden never realized was that it was physically impossible for him to not play my game. I can’t possibly fault him for trying; the field was his, albeit only because I was kind enough to give him that option. The location he offered, the seemingly abandoned garage of a deserted country home, was a good choice. Fairly well lit, but with plenty of makeshift weapons, vantage points and shadows. Not a bad spot for an ambush, and I was sure to make a note of that.
The only access point was through a wrecked car, which was a nice touch. Enclosed spaces are always dangerous to be confined in, and Caden seemed to be making the best of the situation, because the second I was inside, various heavy objects instantly blocked my access and exit points.
The man I made eye contact with as he doused the hood of the vehicle with gasoline was a broken one; somehow both manic and calm at the same time, filled with both murderous intent and fear, longing for my place and loathing for what one must be to get there… And so when the blowtorch in his hands was ignited moments later, I only continued to observe him.
The gasoline started to ignite. For a split second, there was only us two and the flames as company.
I must admit, from there I was slightly disappointed. There was nothing else. No second phase, no backup plan, no incredible turn of events that would leave me in awe of his abilities. There was only silence on my part and a thin shred of hope on his.
Hope that I needed to crush
Wishful thinking. That is what I assume Caden was cursing as I struck him from behind, the only thing left in my wake being a fluttering black leaf.
As I gazed down on him, bandages ripped away from his own fingers, I could see what he was so desperate to hide; how burned he was from that boiling water, the heated pot he held as he beat that woman to death…
The gasoline started to trickle in a puddle near him, under him, not yet consumed by the spreading flames,
And I decided to see how much a pawn needed to be burnt until it learned its place.
There are no happy endings. There is no matter of chance or co-incidence. Your rival won’t show up in a pinch, and you won’t gain a skill at the brink of death. No, the strongest will always win, and the weak will always submit. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.
You all have the chance to walk beside me. It’s something I suggest you consider.
After all, you don’t have much of an alternative, now do you?
Regards,
Redlight
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Up a creek
Alright, so surprise, surprise, I fucked up again. Don't care.
Don't care about nothin really. Gonna die free when I go out. All you fuckers can kiss my burnt ass for all I care. Alright, some of you. Some of you guys have been sorta cool, despite me constantly losing my shit. So, yeah thanks.
I guess this is sorta cathartic though, in the long run. Fuckin Spencer was the guy I saw myself in the same shoes as. So, after I wreck his shit, I guess we'll see what should've happened to him, you know, not giving in to lunacy or whatever the hell verbage I can use for MOTHERFUCKING SHITSTORM OF FUCKED UP.
I gotta do this. I'm psyched. And tomorrow, I get to know what its like to be free, no longer weighed down by my own worries, this heavy weight that I've put upon myself, being a progeny of Redlight. The REAL one, not this half-baked shit.
Lookin forward to it. Lookin forward to moving on finally.
Stay frosty, and thanks.
Don't care about nothin really. Gonna die free when I go out. All you fuckers can kiss my burnt ass for all I care. Alright, some of you. Some of you guys have been sorta cool, despite me constantly losing my shit. So, yeah thanks.
I guess this is sorta cathartic though, in the long run. Fuckin Spencer was the guy I saw myself in the same shoes as. So, after I wreck his shit, I guess we'll see what should've happened to him, you know, not giving in to lunacy or whatever the hell verbage I can use for MOTHERFUCKING SHITSTORM OF FUCKED UP.
I gotta do this. I'm psyched. And tomorrow, I get to know what its like to be free, no longer weighed down by my own worries, this heavy weight that I've put upon myself, being a progeny of Redlight. The REAL one, not this half-baked shit.
Lookin forward to it. Lookin forward to moving on finally.
Stay frosty, and thanks.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
ITS FUCKING SPENCER.
Oh that's fucking perfect, the same asshole who I saw hit a bit close to home, takes advantage of that and fucks with me even further. That's just great. Is that why you are playing that role now, to get to me? Why fucking bother, I'm just one dude. What is it you want from me, huh?
Why am I even asking.
Oh that's fucking perfect, the same asshole who I saw hit a bit close to home, takes advantage of that and fucks with me even further. That's just great. Is that why you are playing that role now, to get to me? Why fucking bother, I'm just one dude. What is it you want from me, huh?
Why am I even asking.
just dont want to
I don't want to write lately. It feels wrong. Its like...I guess, I'm ashamed of shit. This talk about a Redlight, it keeps making me think about how stupid I've been at times. I know, I know, I've hashed over that a thousand times already, and thats all there is to say..
I've gotten a nice number of comments at times, during this little blog adventure of mine. Be yourself, you don't have to let anyone be in control except you. Stuff like that. Its appreciated...
but I still feel strings attached. Its like, there's something I need to overcome before I can really be done with all this. I know it sounds stupid, and sure, probably is, but I want to be free. Its like...all I have right now. The idea that I can make my own choices. I won't wax philosophical about illusions, you hear that term a lot, and I won't say make an allusion that the monster is control or something.
I just want to know, that if I'm going out, at least I have some choice in how it goes. That's pretty simple, right? Pretty stupid I imagine, but not much else to go for. And maybe....I can get something done that'd be cool too.
So, you pretentious, cut-rate fuck. Calling me your property, acting all non-nonchalant and all mighty from behind your computer screen. Just LOVING that anonymity and perfect verbatim that only the internet can bring.
You want a shot at me?
here's your chance
5/4/12 at 10:00 PM
If I see you show up early, I'm gone. I see you've brought friends, I'm gone. Anything that even LOOKS like you setting a trap, I'm gone. And your little lectures will be for nothing, because you can't take me on, on my terms. Maybe you'll hunt me down, maybe you'll off me, since I'll obviously be close by at some point in time. But at least I'll die knowing I can defy a bitter, psychopath piece of shit, that likes to PRETEND to play mind games, but can't step up to the plate for real.
Your move.
I've gotten a nice number of comments at times, during this little blog adventure of mine. Be yourself, you don't have to let anyone be in control except you. Stuff like that. Its appreciated...
but I still feel strings attached. Its like, there's something I need to overcome before I can really be done with all this. I know it sounds stupid, and sure, probably is, but I want to be free. Its like...all I have right now. The idea that I can make my own choices. I won't wax philosophical about illusions, you hear that term a lot, and I won't say make an allusion that the monster is control or something.
I just want to know, that if I'm going out, at least I have some choice in how it goes. That's pretty simple, right? Pretty stupid I imagine, but not much else to go for. And maybe....I can get something done that'd be cool too.
So, you pretentious, cut-rate fuck. Calling me your property, acting all non-nonchalant and all mighty from behind your computer screen. Just LOVING that anonymity and perfect verbatim that only the internet can bring.
You want a shot at me?
here's your chance
5/4/12 at 10:00 PM
If I see you show up early, I'm gone. I see you've brought friends, I'm gone. Anything that even LOOKS like you setting a trap, I'm gone. And your little lectures will be for nothing, because you can't take me on, on my terms. Maybe you'll hunt me down, maybe you'll off me, since I'll obviously be close by at some point in time. But at least I'll die knowing I can defy a bitter, psychopath piece of shit, that likes to PRETEND to play mind games, but can't step up to the plate for real.
Your move.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
cannot believe this shit
Alright Fucker. What did you do?
Seems real coincidental to me, that I'd be in the middle of a damn post, and I get interrupted by IT.
Maybe I'm giving you too much credit, but when a goddamn window explodes, and sends people into a panic, and me into a fucking dead run, there's something going on.
Was just typing my shit, was so damn stupid to type then, it was right there, too damn close. I desperately wanted my solace and it fucking shattered the window. I sent the log up before I even looked, I knew something went wrong, and I haul ass out of there. I glance out of one of the side windows, and its there. The glass shatters again, and then the next. All I have is just like a second or so ahead, just running as fast as I can.
Now I'm a mad sprinter, have had way too much training of late, for all the good it did me. Turned a corner, it was there, I bolt the other direction, it appears somewhere else. Never see it moving 'in', its just always there. I go out in traffic, hoping to catch a bus or something, and nothing. This thing was on. my. ass, and I was getting exhausted. No money for taxi fare, not stealin a damn car, can't even figure out how to hotwire, but I keep moving, and it starts showing up slower... I don't think I was actually outrunning it, but maybe it was getting bored, whatever. When I got worn down and tired as hell, thats when it stopped. I was dead meat, and it just gives up. Who the fuck does that? Unless they're making a point.
So, Fine. I don't believe you had anything to do with this, but whatever, its obvious, you want a go.
I'm not part of your bullshit, wannabee.
Seems real coincidental to me, that I'd be in the middle of a damn post, and I get interrupted by IT.
Maybe I'm giving you too much credit, but when a goddamn window explodes, and sends people into a panic, and me into a fucking dead run, there's something going on.
Was just typing my shit, was so damn stupid to type then, it was right there, too damn close. I desperately wanted my solace and it fucking shattered the window. I sent the log up before I even looked, I knew something went wrong, and I haul ass out of there. I glance out of one of the side windows, and its there. The glass shatters again, and then the next. All I have is just like a second or so ahead, just running as fast as I can.
Now I'm a mad sprinter, have had way too much training of late, for all the good it did me. Turned a corner, it was there, I bolt the other direction, it appears somewhere else. Never see it moving 'in', its just always there. I go out in traffic, hoping to catch a bus or something, and nothing. This thing was on. my. ass, and I was getting exhausted. No money for taxi fare, not stealin a damn car, can't even figure out how to hotwire, but I keep moving, and it starts showing up slower... I don't think I was actually outrunning it, but maybe it was getting bored, whatever. When I got worn down and tired as hell, thats when it stopped. I was dead meat, and it just gives up. Who the fuck does that? Unless they're making a point.
So, Fine. I don't believe you had anything to do with this, but whatever, its obvious, you want a go.
I'm not part of your bullshit, wannabee.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I've got faith
REAL FUCKING WEIRD HEARING THAT.
Gargoyle said that, last time I posted. 'got faith in you.'
Damn, that's weird. I mean, thanks, I guess, but holy shit, I've barely spoken to the dude. Heh I remember getting pissed at him for doin cosplay. Fuckin unbelievable.
Whatever. Back to the matter at hand.
Guess who the fuck has been on my tail last three days, as far as I can tell, non motherfucking stop?
Its not my troll.
Yeah.
I hate to give this guy credit, but I have been running like my hair is on fire these past few days. Its worse than its ever been. I mean, its outside the library right now, I can SEE him. RIGHT. NOW. And that's scary belyond all reason, that there's three other people here, just playin solitare or reading email, and its right outside the window. Maybe twenty feet away.
I am worn ragged, and I don't want to give credit as I said, but I wonder if this is sort of....related.
Earlier today I threw a rock at it. Missed. Probably for the best. I don't want to antagonize
oh fuck that I do want to antagonize, but I'm not so fucking stupid to rush into hand to whatever its got to
Gargoyle said that, last time I posted. 'got faith in you.'
Damn, that's weird. I mean, thanks, I guess, but holy shit, I've barely spoken to the dude. Heh I remember getting pissed at him for doin cosplay. Fuckin unbelievable.
Whatever. Back to the matter at hand.
Guess who the fuck has been on my tail last three days, as far as I can tell, non motherfucking stop?
Its not my troll.
Yeah.
I hate to give this guy credit, but I have been running like my hair is on fire these past few days. Its worse than its ever been. I mean, its outside the library right now, I can SEE him. RIGHT. NOW. And that's scary belyond all reason, that there's three other people here, just playin solitare or reading email, and its right outside the window. Maybe twenty feet away.
I am worn ragged, and I don't want to give credit as I said, but I wonder if this is sort of....related.
Earlier today I threw a rock at it. Missed. Probably for the best. I don't want to antagonize
oh fuck that I do want to antagonize, but I'm not so fucking stupid to rush into hand to whatever its got to
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