Through the cracks

Some of us don't get the easier path.  I know, I know, there's no real easy road for the Stalked, but there is an easier path. 

People who find solace with others, people who they can count on.  Whether it be the kinship formed of necessity, or a relationship that got interfered with, there are those out there who can come together when needed.

Hell, there's people out there who drive halfway across the country to save some poor fucker. 

Takes guts.

Some of us don't get that luxury.  Some of us fall through the cracks.  I get that, I mean, its bound to happen.  Not everyone can be saved, not everyone finds a team to help.

Which is why I don't feel bad at all.  Because we all have hard choices to make.  Because when it comes down to it, we stand alone at one point or another.

I am so damn tired of being alone, I haven't had a real conversation in months,  I haven't FELT anything in weeks.

Its horrible, yeah...It really is.  The same guy who did such things.

and I'll still throw anyone under a bus to get away, to get gone.
because I'm not really one of you guys, you Runner types.

And I'll do what I have to do.  Because its the only way I can survive.

I'll take solace with the only one who offered me a hand.

IF


IF

so many ifs

If he can find a way to keep  that thing away from me

IF I can get my necessities met.  I haven't had a decent meal in months, or a bed at least.  Clothes I don't care about.  I'll never take off what I'm wearing.  I'll NEVER see what is left of me.

IF I'm not alone anymore

IF

If

if

if I can be human again

if just for a little while.

god help me