I feel like my life's just out of reach, but how do you grasp something you only see out of the corner of your eye?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Desires or Memories?

This week was a bit worse.   Doesn't help I still am out of work, and already have the clock ticking on my rent.  "Surprise you were in a coma, now here, be fiscally responsible!"   Shitty ass wake up call.

I should be capable of pulling my own weight, I should be able to have a place of my own.  I want to stand on my own feet, and flex them for the first time.  I want...to remember.

Why the fuck hasn't there been a worthwhile explanation to what happened to me?  Even worse, why the hell did I wake up against my back door today?  What the hell am I doing?

Shitty ass day!  Damn this is pissing me off.

Have people still trying to hover over me, offering me money, food.  I don't WANT your damn money.  I am a man goddammit.  I don't NEED YOUR CHARITY.  FUCK

And I'm NOT going to be taking this medicine shit either.  How the hell can you tell me to take this shit but when I ask you what happened to me, you throw up your hands?   FUCK YOU, DOCTOR HERR.

One thing I AM glad about is that my 'family' has backed off again, seeing as I'm a whirling ball of hate and curses.

You know what I did yesterday?  I fucking limped across the street to the playground, sat in a shitty ass swing too small for me, and fucking cried.

People are lying to me, and I don't know why.

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