I feel like my life's just out of reach, but how do you grasp something you only see out of the corner of your eye?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

So at what point does this blissful Nirvana, that is surrender, start?    I haven't seen it in a few days, but that's hardly good news.  Night's a fucking terror, sleeping in an alley or wherever, knowing, just knowing that its out there close by, probably watching me.  I'm walking around fucking invisible, just another bum on the street, and if this horseshit isn't bad enough, I got my reply from Messenger, which amounted to 'Ask me if I give a fuck."

No shit.  Asshole's supposed to be some coordinator bullshit, guy's a douchebag, after spending all that time bitching about our side, and that we're all still human somewhere, he goes and tells me to fuck off.

Whatever.  Beginning to think its like that everywhere.  People just looking out for number one.  I get it, I guess.  I wouldn't hesitate to throw someone under a bus to get some rest nowadays.

Maybe that's what I need to do?  Maybe I should start sharing the misery, introduce some other fuckers to this shithive life.  Show THEM why they should've cared, why it IS their problem too.

I. Don't. Know.

I can't get a grip, it's as simple as that.  There's just nothing else to my life anymore, there's no pieces to pick up.  There's just Faceless and a guy who has gotten burned.  How can you fight that?


  1. Replies
    1. He's right. Some of us have been trying to help and support you, and you've spat in our faces and told us we were stupid for fighting.

    2. Okay so I've been a shit lately. Noted. I figured out today that there really IS no help out there. What words can a human give to cope with a monster?

      I guess though, I appreciate you guys talking to me, keeping me alive.


    3. Well, we fucking support each other, that's all any of us can do.

  2. Maybe go find one of the well-known Agents or whatever you call them? It's easier to blow somebody off when they're just words on a screen. If you get in their face about it, maybe they'll help you. Or kill you, but is that so much worse?

    1. Yeah...I guess, not that anyone's been doin much lately. Too much a coward just to walk in front of a bus, and wouldn't that be a quick way to get relief?

      Fuck my life.

  3. Are you thinking of "recruiting" for this shit life of yours? If so, stop. Please. Misery does not need to love company in this case.