So here I am again, ciphering Sufjan's riddles as I kill time, as stress relief from my own life. And yeah, it sucks, yeah it's shit, but I'm starting to come around. I kept saying that there's just no way to get any better, and there's no truth to people being able to aid you, but now I think that's what is keeping me going.
So yeah, thanks guys. Really. Sufjan, Amy, Gargoyle, Elaine....I dunno about Moe and Ben so far, but whatevs, you're here, you're listening to my story, and I guess having a vent really does help.
Hell, I even dream about blogging now, its a refuge for me now, even if I don't comment much, or post daily, its a quiet place where things don't go wrong for me often.
Which brings me to Spencer.
Fucker's been quiet, and I guess that's a good thing. I don't like thinking about what he could be doing, but I am trying, I'm really trying to not draw parallels between him and I. Yes there are similarities, but we don't have to be the same. We don't both have to have the bad ending, and yet I feel there needs to be confrontation between us if he goes bad.
Maybe he needs an outside hand, maybe he needs an asskicking, maybe he just needs to talk.
Fuck me, I don't know. I really don't. It's asking for trouble to even consider hunting him down however the fuck I'd do that. I guess what I really need to know is if he's gone, if he's really gone or not. Granted, I'm not hardcore like him, didn't do fucking surgery on myself, though maybe my bandages count, but we've both been played in some form or another.
Maybe he needs a team to work with, a fresh one. It could be one of those Batman things, Batman needs a team to work with, although fuck all if I'm Robin, let's get that shit straight. If he doesn't, his life gets worse, he needs people to trust.
So maybe that's what ole boy needs. His last team went to shit, with trauma and heartbreak. Granted its probably not best to do anything right now to fix things, but its something I wonder about.
Heh, here I am trying to look out for someone else.
Aint that some shit?