Doesn't matter what side I'm on, no one gives a shit. Either that or I just don't know who to talk to right now.
How organized are the 'bad guys' anyway? Looks like roles are pretty cut and dried. Most of them seem to be well beyond whatever state I'm in, where they're taunting or leaving cryptic messages for the rest of you guys it stalks.
So is that how this works? Do I find relief in tormenting others now? Admittedly, it is starting to have an appeal to me, if more for desperation than anything else. I mean, I've had maybe 3 hours of sleep in the last few days.
I think. It's really hard to keep track of time lately. My stomach aches, and it gets cold as hell out here, running a step ahead of something that might as well be my boss. My Master. And yet it doesn't say anything, it doesn't clue me in on anything but screaming horror.
I don't know if its any worse than the apathy the world's gotten into these last thousand years or so, sometimes I think I just won't be happy until there's either nothing left anywhere, or I'm dead. Probably the latter.
People giving me just enough of a fuck to stare at me funny. Guy in muddy red hoodie with mutherfuckin bandages is a strange sight, i give you that, but I'm not taking them off. No sir. I've already figured out why a lot of them wear masks. Fuck, I mean, a lot of *us* wear masks. Not for anonymity, well not really.
It's because I can't fucking stand to look at myself.
So do something to fix that. You don't have to do this!
ReplyDeleteand do what? fix beating my girlfriend to death with a pot? You obviously don't see how hopeless it is.
DeleteUgh, you're a whiny little fuck. Look, You did something terrible and that sucks. But you can move forward and do good things, help people or whatever. Or you can go evil and continue shitting on your dead girlfriend. Your choice.
Deleteand what help is there? Hmm? I've seen enough personal logs here that I see how it ends up. There's no power of love, or rock or friendship that stops a monster. This isn't some second rate anime for god's sake. What real advice can you give, aside from 'suck it up', which does a real world of good I might add.
DeleteEither you die fighting, or you go down like a bitch when your boss decides he's bored. Just getting involved is a death sentence, it's your choice what you want to do with the time you have left.
DeleteThat's sort of my point. There's no way to fight back, there's nowhere you can go that he isn't, but god knows I'm running anyway. There's just no hope in it. Everything becomes so futile when he shows.
DeleteOh hey, here's another amnesiac, except this one is also a crazy murderer. Fun!
ReplyDeleteNow, my advice would be that if you can't stand looking at yourself, you should go blind. Stare at the sun for a while, or maybe try the Oedipus route and use a sharp object. I'd definitely pick the sun, since it's got less risk of infection.
oh shut the hell up. You're actually trying to make fun of me for what this shithole creature has done to me? What the fuck.
DeleteAnd you know what the worst part is? I just read your 'blog' saying how this shit isn't real.
DeleteFuck.
You.
Makes me wish I knew how to draw attention to someone, put that fucker on you, then we'll see what you have to say. Or maybe you'll just play it for laughs till you blindly run out into traffic, you little shit.
Try eating, not being alone, and wearing something different. It might help you get into a different mindset. Or, at least a new perspective on how you're living.
ReplyDelete