I feel like my life's just out of reach, but how do you grasp something you only see out of the corner of your eye?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

rescued from it all

was perusing some blogs, dunno if you guys heard of this Nick guy.  real big into magical bullshit.  I wouldn't believe in it myself, but something struck a chord just now.

He wrote this bit about talking to an enemy of his, some guy who possessed people, going from one to a next at a whim, and how they're all connected to him.

here's the link  http://recordsofanimpossibility.blogspot.com/2011/08/eternity-versus-immortality.html

Nick goes on later to talk about cutting this guy's network down to pieces.  I don't really understand it.  But...there's something there that really struck me.   The date.  late August.

This fellow, this Redlight, he goes and gets himself mangled to pieces involved in a chess match with something supernatural.  All due to a kid really...It's amazing

here's what I'm talking about  http://thee1eventhhour.blogspot.com/2011/08/free.html

and his words just kept repeating themselves to me

"Don't forget what I said, there's more than one blogger out there that I've gotten my hands on and taken,  'hollowed' or 'redlit' whatever you want to call it."

and it makes sense now,  the red hoodie, the pants,  christ, I've even got bandages like him now.

He's me  or at least was
I was one of the ones taken.  It has to be true.  The mood swings, the Runner paraphernalia, the clothes, and the monster.  I was one the ones 'freed', I can only speculate, but I'm guessing that's how I got that system shock, went into that coma.

None of that matters now, not anymore.  I can't do this, I am just not strong enough.  Even if I had an endless supply of meds, I can't fight this thing, I can't write anymore, i can't do this

so I will embrace him

I will be something I used to be, I can't do otherwise.
because nothing matters now

nothing ever mattered, its all meaningless
the only thing that mattered to me, is that I remember who I am now

and isn't that grand?  - r


  1. No, don't do that shit! You can fight this bullshit, you can! You don't have to give in to this.

  2. Just because you were a part of that mess doesn't mean you have to accept it. Be your own person.Take the chance you've been given, man.

  3. Everybody either wants to be a superhero or a supervillain. Why can't anyone want to grow up to be an accountant?

  4. Fascinating...

    But I think you're missing some details. redlight also said that those that were "redlit" were going about their lives completely oblivious to the fact they were part of his chain. Which means when he was riding around in your body, IF he was indeed riding around in your body, then you'd have never known he was there... like being kicked out of your own body. You were always yourself. You just got hijacked for a little while. You can't go back to being someone you never really were... Don't let a past you barely remember control your future.

  5. So you WERE someone else. Doesn't matter now. You still have a chance to change everything.