rescued from it all

was perusing some blogs, dunno if you guys heard of this Nick guy.  real big into magical bullshit.  I wouldn't believe in it myself, but something struck a chord just now.

He wrote this bit about talking to an enemy of his, some guy who possessed people, going from one to a next at a whim, and how they're all connected to him.

here's the link  http://recordsofanimpossibility.blogspot.com/2011/08/eternity-versus-immortality.html

Nick goes on later to talk about cutting this guy's network down to pieces.  I don't really understand it.  But...there's something there that really struck me.   The date.  late August.

This fellow, this Redlight, he goes and gets himself mangled to pieces involved in a chess match with something supernatural.  All due to a kid really...It's amazing

here's what I'm talking about  http://thee1eventhhour.blogspot.com/2011/08/free.html

and his words just kept repeating themselves to me

"Don't forget what I said, there's more than one blogger out there that I've gotten my hands on and taken,  'hollowed' or 'redlit' whatever you want to call it."

and it makes sense now,  the red hoodie, the pants,  christ, I've even got bandages like him now.

He's me  or at least was
I was one of the ones taken.  It has to be true.  The mood swings, the Runner paraphernalia, the clothes, and the monster.  I was one the ones 'freed', I can only speculate, but I'm guessing that's how I got that system shock, went into that coma.


None of that matters now, not anymore.  I can't do this, I am just not strong enough.  Even if I had an endless supply of meds, I can't fight this thing, I can't write anymore, i can't do this













so I will embrace him

I will be something I used to be, I can't do otherwise.
because nothing matters now

nothing ever mattered, its all meaningless
the only thing that mattered to me, is that I remember who I am now

and isn't that grand?  - r